Floridians Can’t Count – Queen Elizabeth To Take Charge
Florida to Secede the Union – Check Out the List of All New British Leadership
Florida, who’s in charge? U.S. elections over and the State of Florida could not turn in election results in on time.
“You can’t have your cake and eat it too” said Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth.
Americans gave up on the Sunshine State’s inability to count. Florida has been kicked out of the Union and will now be a British Colony.
Rumour has it that Miami-Dade County couldn’t even use fingers to count. In 2000 they blamed it on hanging chads (remember Bush-Gore?). What’s the excuse now? It must be a conspiracy!
The British Monarch has big plans for Floridashire, a place where the sun actually shines!
- Her Royal Highness QEII will spend most of the year here. A new McMansion Castle is to be built in Key Biscayne.
- All Royal Subjects will be taught to count with their fingers.
- Cake Etiquette is to supply all official Royal Cakes and Desserts.
- Floridashire will have its own government and defense forces.
- The Queen appointed highly qualified British Citizens (see below list) to fill the new role of Prime Minister and Cabinet Members.
- In the deal, USA’s President Obama was also forced to give up (reason below) the City of Las Vegas, Nevada.
New Floridashire Government Appointees:
Prime Minister
Simon Cowell – Because he’s got the X-Factor.
Vice President
David Beckham – Cried for days until she gave him the job.
First Lady
With Simon Cowell as Prez the position of First Lady will be a Rotating Position.
Department of Homeland Security
Daniel Craig (James Bond 007) – License to kill.
Department of the Treasury
Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean) – Certified Bean Counter.
Department of State
Sacha Baron Cohen (Borat – Bruno – Ali G)
Department of Agriculture
Sir Anthony Hopkins (Silence of the Lambs)
Mayor of Las Vegas
Prince Harry (The Hangover)
Department of Veteran Affairs
Hugh Grant (Notting Hill, Four Weddings and a Funeral)
Department of Health and Human Services
Kate Moss (Super Model)
Department of Transportation
Jason Statham ( The Transporter)
Secretary of the Navy
Kate Winslet (Titanic)
Department of Defense
Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter – The F Word)
Department of Commerce
Sarah Ferguson (Duchess of York)
Department of Energy
Gordon Ramsay (Hell’s Kitchen)
Department of Education
Monty Python Crew (Flying Circus – Spamalot – Holy Grail)
Thank you and God Save the Queen!
On behalf of her madge, many thanks for the kind invitation to take back what we never quite had in the first place. However, having had our own “fiscal cliff” to deal with, on second thoughts, could you possibly ask the French whether they would like Florida – oh,and Louisiana back?